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dillondean:

thug life? more like hug life. come here

paulyoptosaurus:

trying to put my bedsheets on by myself is like wrestling with satan

jessepnkman:

once i was so high that i heard a drum beat and for a good fifteen seconds i thought that the events of the movie jumanji were about to happen to me

itssexualhour:

So I went over to my boyfriend’s house tonight, and we decided to go night swimming. Well, we were kissing and grinding and all that in the pool and suddenly he just hugs me to him and says ‘I love you, and I’m glad you’re mine’ and when he said that I leaned in towards his ear and said ‘mine’ in the same voice as those seagulls from Finding Nemo and then he did it back and we basically sat in the pool shouting ‘MINE!’ at each other for a solid minute.